ESL companies are a great way to build your online career and supplement your income. Work from home. Join our amazing team. Get two free cancellations each month before we steal money from you in case you dare get sick or have a family emergency.

Must have a rocket science degree and teaching experience in ESL companies so we can pay you less than your first job flipping hamburgers.  If you are Filipino or South African, we will pay you half of what we pay Americans for the same work because how else can shareholders make a healthy return on a multi-million-dollar investment?  

Apply now using the referral code so we can give a recruiter $20 to help oversaturate the platform with other teachers. The more teachers we have, the less students for each teacher. This is amazing because the company turns a bigger profit when you don’t have a full schedule and can therefore pay you less. It’s even part of our business model!

We may also unexpectedly cut your pay because why the hell should you get paid a fair wage for your work when I can buy another vacation home, a bigger yacht, and chill out on the beaches of Maldives? Too bad our whole revenue model cannot just be exploiting your labor and we need to pretend we care about education.  Desperate teachers in the middle of a global pandemic are amazing for business.

Good thing there is so much competition that teachers would never organize against the company.  All you broke teachers are too busy trying to put food on your tables and tossing out some chump change keeps my business profitable.

Most ESL Companies

While this blog post is clearly satire, this is the sad reality of being an online teacher working for ESL companies.  Don’t get sad or feel helpless. Get angry. Organize a strike.  Join the TEFL Workers Union or a cooperative like MyCoolClass.  

The fat cats will keep winning as long as we are busy hurting ourselves and continue to be the knights in shining armor for those who could less about us.

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